My reasons and desire to use drag in my art comes from a deeply rooted place. As a child I carried myself with a feminine nature. Although it was natural for me to express myself in a more flamboyant and efeminate manner the traditions of the generations before me quickly oppressed those expressions.
As a method of protection from a cruel world I was raised to neglect and hate my femininity. This protection was done out of a legitimate love and fear my family had for me. However, it created a duel personality where I became hateful and fearful of this other. Afraid of myself.
Looking back now at the moments where I felt so alone in this battle I realized I relied on my feminine side to get me through my darkest moments. She would sing when he wanted to cry, she would paint went he would write about sorrow and she gave him reason to love himself.
When I finish the makeup and look in the mirror I see a physical manifestation of the neglected, beautiful side to me. The new-found liberty of expressing myself through gender is sometimes intoxicating. Feminine or masculine, my expressions are my own. I’m a MAN that loves his beauteous femininity.
WHOA. wow. this guy went to a private christian university and came out at age 20. I love this description. Something I’ve always had a hard time understanding is gender identity problems. But I keep having to remind myself, “Everyone’s situation is different. Everyone’s expression of their gender and sexuality is the result of a LOT of influences. Aberrations are the result of disjointed, incomplete, and disruptive influences.” Why? Because this process hurts.
I think what I’m saying is that I am open to the idea that “this wouldn’t have happened in a perfect world.” I’m comfortable saying that about my own sexuality—about homosexuality in general. But, and this part is crucial, do I think either are wrong or negative? No. I think both could similarly exist in a perfect world as well. Because whether or not it’s all a part of God’s perfect design for an unbroken world is unimportant. I don’t thin, though, that God prefers some functions over others. We hear all this talk of “resurrected bodies” when we get to heaven; they have been made whole. But what if the whole “making whole” wasn’t about making a deaf person hear or a paralyzed person mobile. What if this making whole business was more about us being able to handle the diversity in a beautiful, perfect way? He’s deaf? Cool, everyone knows sign language. She’s a burn victim? Doesn’t matter because everyone is beautiful through Christ’s radiance.
