You won’t want to do it that way… But you must
Here’s the hard part, though.
You won’t want to come out that way. Most gay people, in fact, don’t. Because it’s difficult. It’s painful and emotional. It’s probably the most vulnerable you’ll be with that person. And it sucks. It’s hard to spend two hours talking to a friend or sister or mentor or pastor to be told “It’s still sin,” or “I don’t like your choice, but I have to put up with it, don’t I?” or anything. You open yourself up to hearing what they feel and think.
And ultimately, they probably won’t see it your way. After two hours and your heart is nearly too heavy to bear, they say, “Well, I guess that’s that.” They may restate their opposition, offer to pray the gay away, or whatever. And that’s the conversation over. So not only did it hurt, but you didn’t win the debate, either.
The debate’s not over.
A beautiful thing happened through that conversation. You allowed them the space and the opportunity they needed to think about these issues. You gave them your focus, which they needed to realize it’s a big deal to you. You made yourself vulnerable, which showed them it hurts. You were honest, which they will need the next time they think about equality for LGBT. And hopefully, when they think about it, they’ll remember that conversation. They’ll remember how much they care about you and how important this is to you. They’ll seek out more diverse opinions. They’ll go back to you and ask questions.
And it’s crucial that they do so.
It’s going to hurt again. And it’s going to seem like a battle that will not be won. But with time, our friends and family will realize the need to treat people without regard to their sexual orientation. And maybe they’ll realize that you are just as deserving of marriage as they are. Or maybe not. But they’ll learn to love just a bit better.
